Where are we placing our faith?

You know, there was a time when I thought I had to do everything on my own. I thought everything that happened was by my doings, good or bad. I would go to work and if it was a good day I got to save someone's life, and if it was a bad day well, lives were lost. There was one little girl in particular that (I thought) I failed to save and it still gives me nightmares. She was 8 months old and had beautiful blond curls and bright blue eyes. She died in my arms in the back of the ambulance and there was nothing I could do. Actually I did nothing. She died before I could lay her down and I tried to bring her back. I tried everything my training had provided me. I failed on every level.

"36 And when they sent away the multitude, they took Him even as He was in the ship. And there were also with him other little ships. 37 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. 38 And He was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow; and they awake him and sayest unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? 39 And He arose and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace be still. And the winds ceased, and there was a great calm. 40 and he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful, How is it ye have no faith?"   

Mark 4:36-40 KJV 

Here we have the disciples, all wise men of their trades. Capable men, experienced fishermen, no doubt they have rode out many storms on their ships. I wonder what they were feeling when they realized that this was a storm they couldn't handle. I'm sure they tried everything they were trained to do, everything they were taught by generations of experienced fishermen before them and everything they had learned by trial and error. 

The disciples, like myself, were placing their faith in what they could do. In their knowledge and abilities. How often do we do this very same thing? How often do we take our problems, our fears, even the ability to do our jobs efficiently to the Lord? More importantly, how long does it take us to say 'Lord, I need you! I can't do this!'?

After the disciples had tried everything and were convinced they were about to die, then and only then did they awake the Lord. The Lord arose and calmed the storm. Can't you just imagine the disciples saying 'Thanks Jesus, we'll take it from here!' We do that all to often, just give me a little push in the right direction Lord! I handle it after that! 

But I love what Jesus says to them! 'Why are you so fearful, have you no faith?' What are we placing our faith in? Misplaced faith can be a very dangerous thing. 

It wasn't until after that little girl died in my arms that I said "Lord I can't do this" and I didn't even mean I didn't think I could physically keep anyone alive. I meant "Lord I just don't think my heart, my soul and my mind can handle this job!" 

I had a 2 1/2 hour drive to work, after that day I prayed all the way there. I prayed every time we got a call. I prayed every time I put a pair of gloves on my hands because after that day I knew it wasn't my doings. I couldn't save anyone. I was nothing more than a tool the Lord used to keep someone here if their time wasn't up or to be there with the family of the patient if their time was up. I had to place my faith in the Lord that He would guide me, steady my hands and calm my mind and that His will be done. 

We have to put our faith in the right place and we have to put it there quickly, every time, ALL the time.

 


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